you are pathetic, eddie.

this may be long, so if you dont have time to read this, dont start. however, i think my friends are sick of me talking about this so i am choosing to let it all out here.

to begin with you are the most selfish person ive ever met. im fucking serious. & you can sit there and tell me all these negative qualities that you have, you told me that you yourself were heartless and careless and mean and a marine. yes those are all true, yet i find all of those excuses to be honest. and like youve told me time and time again that you dont deserve me, well your right again, you never deserved me, however i find that the biggest excuse of all.

i dont regret anything i did or anything we've done, because through us ive learned an extraordinary amount of useful information and dont get proud either because its all horrible things about you. you never appreciated me and you will never get another chance to.

i did nothing wrong here, all i did was show you how special i thought you were and showed you all the love my heart can give. you fucked this all up. you were the one leading me on and you were the one pushing me away and pulling me back in and in the process hurting me along the way about every couple of months. you are so inconsistent and youre 24? i dont need or deserve someone like that. i feel at 17 that i know more of who i am then you do, at 24.

this is all really pathetic eddie. you took me for a joke and you took advantage of my age because you knew how it would be. really, i laugh when i think about how i really wanted to be with you and now realizing that i dont want someone like you. someone that will never appreciate all i have to give because all i would do was give and never ask for a damn thing. someone who never says thank you for anything ive already done. someone who can see our enevitable failing relationship,shrug their shoulders and keep me around.

you are an asshole, you really are. & the funny thing is, you know it. and another funny thing is how you continued to lead me on and give me hope after you knew that we would never work out. deep down though i knew it was enevitable. you arent strong enough to be with me and thats sad, really sad but once again i dont need that. when you close your eyes eddie, i will not fade. you will think of me. i am stronger than ever now and you will regret this. later on down the road you will see what you had. but now and by that time itll be too late. you will never find someone like me, you will see that.

always, nicole

ps: i need a hair cut